


If Only You Were a Woman

by BirdBoneGirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Actual Smut, Destiel - Freeform, Dreams, F/M, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2013-11-29
Packaged: 2018-01-01 00:16:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdBoneGirl/pseuds/BirdBoneGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bit of destiel fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was a one off this morning before breakfast. I have only re-read it once and I haven't actually bothered to edit it. I am not sure why am posting except I really need to stop being a perfectionist and just let go of stuff. So here. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Fixed the Formatting hope that makes it more readable!

“If you’d been a girl, maybe it would be different.” Sam sighs out under his breath in the other room, as the Dean left the hotel in a rush. Castiel frowned from the bathroom, the tall man was talking about him.

An off hand comment that he wasn’t meant to hear. Things would be different between him and Dean if he was a girl.

He thought about this for a moment. He could see it was true. The man kept him at a distance. Still what did that mean? It was best to ask.

“What do you mean it would be different if I was a girl?” He asks Sam coming into the cramped hotel room.

Sam startles, looking up from his laptop. “What? How did you-”

“I am able to hear you from the next room Sam.”

“Right.” He scrubs his large hand across his face. “It’s nothing Cas, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Castiel frowns. Certain that Sam is lying to him. “Yes you did. But I am not sure I understand.”

Glancing at the door, Sam shifts in his seat. Not looking at him he says, “look Cas. I just-” He stops himself frowning, and finally looks him in the eye. “You and Dean have a pretty intense relationship.”

Castiel nods. “That is true.”

Again he glances at the door. “You seem to…I don’t know Castiel. The only people I ever see Dean look at the way he looks at you are women. Frankly I think he would have fallen in love with you if you were one.”

Castiel squints and looks at the ceiling. “You think that my vessel is the wrong sex for Dean to kiss?”

Sam just clears his throat uncomfortably.

“Should this be a concern of mine?”

Sam closes his laptop with a loud clap. “Look I didn’t say anything. I don’t know. I just…I wish you two would figure it out and stop” He stands, face reddening and fist clenched, “having fucking eye sex at each other all the time!” Then he grabs his coat from the back of the chair and stalks out of the room.

Castiel stands there not moving for a good ten minutes. Why should it matter what his vessel looked like? People were just people right? He had seen all configurations of pairings and more than pairings in his time observing humanity. Why did Dean care about his particular shape. It was only by the purest luck that Jimmy Novak was a man, not a woman.

And what had Sam meant about the eye sex? One could have sex with their eyes? Just by looking? He thought back at all the times he had been around Dean. Calculating up the time he and Dean and spent looking into each others eyes and realized, yes, he looked at him more often than Sam or anyone else. Did that mean Dean wanted him? Did that mean they were having this eye sex? And did that mean that Dean wanted to have actual sex with him? But that he would not because his vessel was the wrong shape?  
He sat on the bed, and ran his hands over his face. If it was true than he should do something about it. Dean deserved all he could give him after his mess up with Sam’s soul.

~~~

Dean returned a half hour later, with dinner, Sam coming in not long after and avoiding Castiel's gaze. They ate in relative silence, Cas eating the fries to keep his hands occupied and watching Dean as he finishes he last gulp of beer.

Setting the beer bottle down with a thump Dean catches Castiel’s eye and snaps “Cas, stop staring at me, dude.”

Slowly he moves his head back and his eyes to the ceiling, the floor, anywhere but at Dean. He still catches Deans eye roll in his peripheral vision.

“I’m hitting the sack, we should leave around three if we are going to make it to that nest by noon.” Dean says, eying Cas up and down as he walks to the bathroom.

Sam raises his eyebrows at Cas as if trying to tell him something, but Cas still doesn’t understand what it all means.

An hour after the humans are asleep an idea comes to him. He smiles as he closes his eyes. This would solve everything.

 ~~~

The road curved around the bend and out of sight, a black ribbon carving a path through gray boulders and pine trees. Dean walked, feeling the sun on his face. Feeling content he continued to walk along to road, then he heard a rustle in the trees to his left and stopped, pulling out his demon knife and standing at the ready. Eyes darting every direction.

A woman stepped out of the woods. At first, for a brief moment he had thought it was Cas. She was dressed like him, long tan trench coat, blue tie and white shirt, the whole deal. But she was a she.  
The resemblance didn’t stop there, her hair was a shaggy brown mop her eyes a clear piercing blue. It was like she was the girl version of Cas.

“Hello Dean,” the girl said, he voice feminine but still husky. Dean looked around, confused. Was this a dream? “It’s me.” The girl said.

“Cas?”

The girl smiled in the same slow way as Cas, her lips gliding back and her eyes lighting up.

“Is this a dream?”

Castiel nodded. He looked her up and down, taking in the strange choice his mind had made and walked up to the girl Castiel. It was just a dream after all. He reached out and touched her face, familiar yet so different. Like a sister.

“This is what Jimmy Novak would have looked like if he had been a woman.” The girl Cas explains.

Dean nods, mouth agape and wondering where his mind came up with this sort of stuff. Then he didn’t wonder anymore and leaned down to kiss her. It didn’t hurt to try things out in a dream. He probably wouldn’t even remember in the morning.

She was warm and her lips were soft beneath his. He felt a rush of blood through his system at the contact. Her lips moved against his and he slid his hand across her cheek and down behind her neck, his fingers tangling in her hair. He could feel her breasts against his ribs as he held her close. He could feel himself stirring. He wanted her. Wanted Cas.  
Hands roaming down he came to her breasts. They were soft and warm and perfect. And wrong.

He pulled away from her, his eyes searching hers. His. They were still his eyes. His hand let go of her hair and he took a step back shaking his head.

“Dean? Are you alright?” She asked him, her voice too high. Everything was wrong about this.

“You- it’s just you aren’t really him. It’s all wrong.”

“You would prefer me as I really am?” She asks, head tilting in that oh so Castiel way.

Dean rubbed his lips, still wet from her kiss. Fuck it was a dream. No one could fault him for weird dreams.

“Yes.”

The air seemed to shimmer and waver and then suddenly Castiel was just Castiel. Not bothering to think this through he closed the distance between them and kissed him.

It was so real this time. He could feel the mans lips, under his soft and big. Could feel the stubble in the mans chin grating against his own, Cas’s chest against his flat and warm and right. Dean couldn’t keep his hands off the man as he explored him. Tongue darting into Cas’s opening mouth.

Dean grabbed him by the damned blue tie and pulled him after him, stepping backwards until he knew he could feel the trees behind him then he swung Castiel around and shoved him into the bark. Castiel grunted, smiling his eyes dilating.

“First I am going to get that damned trench coat off of you,” Dean says, taking control of the fantasy. The trench coat just disappears. Dreams were awesome.

“Dean…” Castiel says his voice relaxed for once. Dean placed a hand on the mans chest, feeling the solid warmth radiating from beneath the white shirt. He grabbed the tie once more, slowly undoing the knot and sliding the cloth out from around the mans neck. Castiel’s top button was already undone and he could see the mans chest was flushing. He leaned his head back against the tree exposing his neck more.  
Bending down he kissed Castiel’s neck, tasting slightly of salt and something ethereal something unearthly. The man smelled of ozone and earth. It was enough to drive someone crazy. Tie gone he concentrated on the mans shirt. Pulling the stiff white fabric from the angels pants.

Cas made a helpless sound, almost a whine as he slid his hand under his shirt onto his soft belly. He kissed into the hollow between his neck and collar bone, causing the angel to gasp for air.  
Strong arms were suddenly around him, pulling him up and face to face. Castiel locked lips with him as he held his body tightly to his. Lips losing all abandon together. The warrior of god was faster than thought, his hands seeming to be everywhere at once and he found his shirt undone, felt a strong hand on his back pull his hips forward.

He bucked his hips into the other mans, feeling the hardness there and he couldn’t help feel aroused. He had made this response in his angel. Was making him writhe and moan and god it was fucking hot. He reached down and gripping the mans shirt tight on both sides popped all the tiny white buttons off with a sharp tug. He then slid his hands around his waist exposing the shirt further. Flesh on flesh, abs and ribs and chest together. The man was like a furnace. Heat radiating out of him like a nuclear reactor.

He just wanted all of his flesh against the man who had saved him. The man he could forgive any fault. The only man he loved other than his fucking brother.

“I just want your body against mine,” he moaned.

“That can be arranged.” There was a wind, and the sound of flapping wings and suddenly Dean found himself on his back. He was laying down and he was naked. The Angel loomed over him.

Fully clothed. His head tilted as he stood over the grungy hotel room bed where he was lying.

The angel was smiling. Which was a little disconcerting.

It took Dean a moment to realize he was awake. He was fully clothed asleep on top of the covers and sporting a massive erection. And Castiel was watching him. Castiel whom he had been about to-

“Uh Cas…what are you-?” Dean grunted loudly, pushing himself up against the headboard.

  
Sam was woke up on the bed next to his, propping himself up on his elbow to squint blearily around the room.

“What’s up, what’s happening?” his voice dull.

“I don’t know! Cas was just standing over by bed.”

“My apologies Dean, it was hard to maintain the connection.” Castiel said cryptically. He was squinting at him oddly, and Dean felt uncomfortable.

“I’ve told you not to watch me sleeping, Cas. It’s creepy.”

“I didn’t think-” Cas frowns, looking unsure. He then turned his head to look at Sam. “Your conjecture earlier seems to have been flawed, Sam.”

“My what? What?” Sam said, still stupid with sleep.

“Dean doesn’t seem to care that my vessel is male,” Cas continues, insistent.

Dean feels his face flush red. His whole body feeling too warm. He pushed himself off the bed and backed into the bedside lamp.

“What the fuck, that was-you were in the- Fuck.”

Sam, looking uncomfortable by the odd exchange, suddenly got a large grin on his face as he started to put the pieces together. Rolling his mass off his bed and skirting behind the angel. “I’ll just get myself my own room.” He says a hint of laughter in his voice.

“Sam! Sam where are you going. What the hell!”

“I think you two should talk.” Sam says as he opens the door. “Call me when your ready to go.”

“Sam-” the door shut behind him. Dean forced his eyes back to the trench coated angel in front of him.

“Cas what did I say about walking into my head.”

“Sam said that things would be different between us if I were a girl. I thought a dream was the perfect place to test the theory.”

Dean looked down, licking his lips nervously. The motion awakened the memory of dream Cas’s lips on his.

“Apparently he was mistaken. You seemed to prefer my real form.”

“That was just a dream Cas, I wasn’t really myself…”

“I don’t think that is true. I made sure you were fully conscious of the dream.

“Cas…” he shrugs helplessly, crushing the lampshade a little further into the wall. Castiel moved forward, getting inside his personal space again. Dean clenched his hands nervously.

“Would you like to finish up your dream, Dean?”

  
Breath unsteady, he looked deep into the dilated eyes of his angel and nods.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now to the Smut!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to get to chapter 2! Hope you like it. Again, not beta'd so all errors are mine.

The dark haired angel lay a hand on Dean’s chest, gripping his t-shirt tight and pulling him forward. Behind him the lamp rocked back and forth on the night stand. Dean tried to turn to catch the falling porcelain, but was soon caught up against Castiel’s lips and forgot it completely. 

Dreams were one thing…

As real as that dream Cas had felt, this was different. He could feel the stiff starched cloth of his shirt, the softer texture of the blue tie beneath his palm splayed across his chest. He could feel the angels knuckles digging into his skin as they pull the soft cotton of his t-shirt taut across his shoulders. Lips, soft and wet on his own contrasting sharply with the rough stubble scraping against his own. 

Wet lips and teeth and darting tongue rendering him mute as they moved over his own mouth. The sensations sent a shiver through his already sensitized body. He dared to dart his tongue out into Cas’s mouth and felt his grip on his shirt tighten. He leaned back, breathing hard and looking into those blue eyes, dilated and sparkling in the dim lights. Reaching up he cupped the angel cheeks, warm and rough with stubble, and gave him another long slow closed mouth kiss. Cas loosened his grip on his shirt, his hand flattening out on his chest and moved around his back to pull him tighter. 

Deans eyes fly open as he feels the angels erection bump into his own. He jerks his head back like a startled deer. Cas loosens his hold but doesn’t let go, giving him a moment. 

“Dean,” he purrs out in his gentle gravelly voice. “Dean, look at me.” Dean moves his gaze up and the Angel is looking into him. Reading him like no one else ever really did. And it was all okay. What did it matter what parts this person had. It was arbitrary. Castiel wasn’t really his vessel anyway. But this shape, this person in front of him was who he had fallen in love with. So, he was a man. It wasn’t that big of a deal.

Shoulders relaxing he falls into the angels chest and buries his head in his neck. Kissing his jaw bone and moving down. Castiel gasps out. A sound he had never heard the angel make, never heard any angel make. It spurs him on. Overcome with need, he pushes Cas until they hit the opposite wall to continues his attack on the man neck, holding onto his damned blue tie to hold himself steady. 

Cas smelled like he had in the dream, like ozone and rain and earth and something more. Musk. He could smell the man’s skin, warm and earthy as it heated up under his lips as they roved down his neck. Somehow the sting of his stubble making it all the more enticing. Cas puts his hands on his shoulder. For a moment Dean stiffens as Cas’s hand folds over the scar on his upper arm. The hot hand fitting over the brand perfectly. 

Then there is a breeze and a flapping of wings and suddenly he is on his back on his bed, Castiel over him. Dean hallucinates that for a second he can see the angels wings spread out around them like a great feathery shadow. Castiel looms above his eyes glowing blue for a second. 

“Cas…” Dean breathes out, so turned on by the display of the angels power he can feel his cock jumping in his pants. 

“Yes Dean?” Cas asks, kneeling between his knees, his hands in his thighs. Slowly he moves his hands forward, sending shivers up the hunters spine. 

“Please…” he manages, not sure what else to say as the angels hand move over his bulging pants. The pressure and warmth releasing some of the tension, but also making him moan out. Cas tilts his head at the sound, a small smile curling his lips. 

“Is that what you want Dean?” he asks, as he palms him through his jeans. His hand warm and strong and large around him. Then Cas stops to unbutton his jeans, slow and careful as he unzips them. Dean watches, unable to look the man in the eye, but aware, oh so aware of blue eyes watching him. Then they are unzipped he pushes himself up and away from the angel to facilitate their removal. Castiel pulls the offensive pants off of him throwing them to the side then sits back on the edge of the bed.

Dean swallows hard as Cas starts to undo his tie. 

Dean digs his hands into the covers as he watches. He is quick and efficient, unhurried, but so quick at the same time. His eyes never leaving Deans as he disrobes. 

Finally naked, the angel stands over the bed, eyes flashing and cock erect and red. Dean tingles with anticipation. Who knew his angel was so sexy under all those cheap suit layers. 

“Castiel.” And that is all Dean has to say to get the angel to come to him. Moving faster than thought, Cas’s eyes are suddenly mere inches from his own. And he is everywhere else as well. Chest pressed to his own, hands on his arms, legs between his legs…and cock pressed right against his cock. The bed sinks as the angels weight is added to his own, making the cheap hotel springs squeak alarmingly. Dean closes his eyes, not able to handle the sensation of hot angel body on his and the man’s intense gaze at the same moment. 

Castiel moves his hands to push himself up a little, keeping his chest pressed close, but shifting his hips allowing their cocks to slide past one another. For a moment Dean squeezes his eyes shut at the feelings. Afraid to want this still. Ashamed and cowardly even now under his angel. His body has other ideas as involuntarily Dean’s hips buck up to meet him and the fear evaporates. The angel moves with him and Dean snakes his arm around Cas’s neck to hold on. Hot flesh, slick with sweat, moving together, the other mans cock rubbing against his own. It’s like nothing he’s ever felt before. This hot heavy thing on him, touching him, rubbing against him.

Kissing Cas he slows him down feeling himself losing control. He wanted Cas, but he wanted him right. Not a sloppy disaster. No they would do this the right way. Who knew if there would be another opportunity after all. The thought makes him cold. 

Castiel notices, slowing his hips. “Dean?”

Dean opens his eyes, Castiel is still staring at him. His eyes dilated and narrowed slightly, head cocked like a bird. And suddenly it doesn’t matter. If this is all the time they have, so be it. Then his angel gives him one of those slight ghost smiles and he returns it. 

Castiel takes him into his hand and slowly strokes him up and down. Dean tries to lean up, but Cas places a firm hand on his chest pinning him down, shaking his head slightly. His eyes rove all over his face as he continues his slow strokes, slicking him down with his own precome. 

“You’re sure you’ve never done this before?” Dean gasps out under his ministrations. 

Castiel doesn’t reply, just watches as Dean’s face flushes. He can feel himself heating up. Another mans hand on him, his cock bumping into Dean’s as he did so. His body pressed tight up against him. Belly to belly, hip to hip, chest to chest. Face to face. Taking what little leverage he had he leans forward to kiss Cas. Lips meeting closed wet lips, he doesn’t do more than slide them a little, tongue barely making an appearance, but it’s like closing a circuit. His hips buck into Castiel’s hand. 

Lips part as Castiel pushes back. Down and down, leaving a trail of kisses from his neck to his belly button. Keeping his hand firmly on Dean’s chest he moves downward. Dean gasps and squirms as he feels a tongue lick him, but Castiel’s hand hold him fast to the bed. Steadying him as Castiel swallows him up. Lips sliding down, wet and hot. Dean,reaches out and latches onto the dark wind blown hair. His fingernails digging into his scalp as Castiel moves up and down. It’s building to fast, the thought of Castiel’s mouth on him is too much. 

He watches his head bob up and down and he feels his hips moving in step. He tightens his grip on the mans hair and closes his eyes, trying to slow his bodies reaction. But it just makes everything more intense. The ragged sound of his own breathing as his chest pumps like a bellows beneath the implacable hand on his chest. The slurping and panting coming from Castiel. All making him all the more aware of the hot wet lips bringing him closer to the edge. His throat convulsing around him as he plunges deeper. 

“Cas-” He manages just as he can’t hold it together. His whole body tenses on the upward motion and he fucking comes into Castiel’s mouth, down his throat. And the Angel just sucks it up, swallows him down until there is nothing left. 

Dean leans his head back into the pillows, chest heaving and arms splayed to either side. Castiel moves up the bed and lays his head into the crook of Dean’s arm, his arm snaking around his chest and holing him close. Dean revels in his hot sweaty warmth, his still erect cock a warm hard rod against his thigh. His breath on his ribs. He pulls him close just letting all the sensations kick in. 

“Thank you Cas.”

Dean can feel his cheeks move and thinks the man is smiling. “You are welcome Dean.”

Dean smiles up at the ceiling, huffing a little breathy laugh out. He moves his hand to the man’s chest, and rubs it in slow circles, his other arm holding his shoulder. “Cas?”

“Yes?” Cas tilts his head up to look at him. He wishes he hadn’t now, because his eyes are just the slightest ring of blue around black and it’s as if he is looking inside him. And Dean knows that he can leave this like it is. 

This isn’t enough. He needs Cas inside him. 

He shivers at the thought. Cas is still staring into him. He opens his mouth to tell him. To ask him. But he doesn’t know how. 

“You…need anything?” He asks instead, painfully aware of the mans still erect cock next to his. He hadn’t even tried to do anything for his angel. He felt ashamed.

“Dean, I am fine. You don’t have to do anything for me.”

Dean looks away, even more shamed. “Cas that isn’t how it works. You can’t be all give.” 

“I understand, Dean.” 

How could he? It was all too much and not enough.

“What do you want Cas?” he was even brave enough to look into his gaze again. Cas made a series of subtle facial expressions that Dean couldn’t follow then the angel ducked his head.

“I have what I need Dean, you are happy.”

“No Cas, what do YOU want?” That got his attention and his eyes snapped back to his. 

“I want you, Dean.”

“You want to be inside me?” Cas nods. “Cause,” he swallowed hard. “Cause I want that too. There’s lube in the bag by the door.” Cas made a move to get up and it was as if he magically had the bottle in his hand.

“Did you just-”

“Wings.” 

Dean rolls his eyes at Cas, grinning like an idiot. He leans over and kisses him, his hands all over the angel. “Fuck me, Cas.” He whispers, lips brushing lips as he spoke. 

Moaning, Cas leans into Dean’s mouth, sucking hard on his lower lip. Fumbling with the bottle he squeezes lube onto his hands, getting a large dollop, not only on his hands but all over Deans chest and belly as he did so. Dean chuckles into Cas’s mouth, but continues kissing him as he spreads his legs. Cas’s overly lubed hands move down his belly, over his spent, but trying to recover, cock and then further. Before he has time to process just where his hand are, Cas has a finger inside him. Cold and slick with the lube and yet hot and tight. Dean let’s out a little gasp. It wasn’t exactly what he had expected, but it also wasn’t unpleasant. The opposite of unpleasant. Cas moved out and then in and Dean’s vision seemed to blur. He wanted more. 

“More.” He pants out leaning into Cas’s forehead, and Cas slides in a second finger. A third. Dean stops breathing and tenses up at all the new sensations breaking his kiss to lean his head back. 

Castiel, mind reader that he is, chooses this moment move his kiss down to the spot just between his jaw and his ear. Flicking his tongue out and greedily licking at him. Whatever Dean had been worrying about disappears under the hot wet sensation. The feeling seems to travel down his body in a wave. “Relax, Dean.” He purrs into his ear then sucks on his earlobe. Dean lets out a slow steady breath and relaxes his grip around three slick fingers. 

Castiel opens him up slowly, rubbing his nipples and kissing his neck. 

“More.” Dean pants out again as Cas scissors his fingers. “I want you in me Cas.”

Cas trails a hand over his cheek as he repositions himself, slick fingers suddenly gone. Then Cas is slicking down his cock, grabbing an extra hand full from Dean’s belly with a sassy grin. Then he leans forward, sliding with one sure thrust into Dean. 

It is tight and hot and slick and inside of him. Castiel leaves it there for a moment, his face flushing as he steadies himself on Dean’s knees. Breath coming in short little gasps. Dean can feel his cock twitching to rise up again. 

Once he catches his breath his hips start to move. Slowly at first, then with more intensity as the pleasure he was getting increased. Dean felt like he was losing his mind as the Angel slowly fucked him. He had never in his life felt someone inside of him. The throbbing hot presence under his skin, filling a hollow space in him he hadn’t even known was needing to be filled. His hips move to meet Cas’s every stroke, watching the myriad expressions and moans that erupted from the pale and naked angel. 

A familiar whine started, just barely audible as the angel’s face contorted and he let out a gasp thrusting hard enough to bruise into Dean. The whine got louder as he pulled back once more, the room thrummed and light seemed to bloom from Castiel. F a second, just a second, Dean could see the angels wings spread out above him. Then Castiel sinks deep into him once more and was coming inside him. Dean could feel the pulsing throbbing cock spilling out. Feels his own response from his now half hard cock as it twitches on his belly. 

Shouting out Dean’s name, Castiel fell into him. Dean welcoming him into his arms. They lay there, lube and sweat making their bellies make odd slurping noises as they adjusted against each other. Dean kissed Castiel on the forehead, not even caring that it was slick with sweat. Holding the angel tight he sighed out into the mess of dark brown hair.

Warm and content their breathing slows and they relax into each others arms. 

“Now what exactly did Sam say to you about being a girl?” Cas lifts his head, mouth open to speak, but Dean talks over him. “Cause I’m going to tell you, I don’t care. That was…amazing.”

Shock turning to a soft smile Castiel lay his head back down on Dean’s chest, ear resting on the anti-possession tattoo. “Yes, it was.” He agrees.


End file.
